Bear It All Read online

  Dammit, why did it have to turn out like this? He had booked this suite for a whole week. The resort and the island were fantastic, sure, but what if he ran into Travis again? It would be extremely awkward because doubtless he’d have company. With those sweet, red lips, a kid as adorable as Travis wouldn’t have a hard time finding someone to warm his bed at night.

  John would not have the same luck. He was decent looking—if one had a thing for the big lumberjack types—but a spontaneous vacation romance was unlikely to be in his future.

  Sullen, he let his gaze take in the night, the island beauty mocking him. The warm tropical air, the rush of the ocean below his penthouse suite, and the tops of the palm trees dancing almost at eye level—all of it celebrating despite his melancholy. With a resigned sigh, he closed his computer, plunging himself into candlelight.

  His weary gaze fell to the blue napkins, folded into some sort of origami flowers and the same haunting cobalt as his young date’s heavily fringed eyes.

  Beautiful eyes a man could drown in.

  Desire pulsed under his skin when he remembered his smile. The lean, tender body. The flush in his cheeks from too much sun. The kind of guy John could never have. He’d learned long ago, those adorable twinks were look-don’t-touch. Far too large for them, he couldn’t bear to cause another human being pain. Hell, when his cousins invited him to go bird hunting, the mere idea sickened him. He would never risk hurting some poor kid just to get his jollies.

  To have some hack-job service throw it in his face felt like the worst kind of torture.

  Chapter Three

  Travis watched in shock as his dream date walked away. What the hell happened? Was he that much of a disappointment?

  “You okay?”

  Travis looked up, realizing he’d been open-mouthed, staring into the space John had so abruptly vacated. His face boiled with embarrassment, but he managed to spit out, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  Before the bartender said another word, Travis slid off his stool and headed for the main building. His shock had given way to anger with the force of a tsunami. He’d never been turned down by someone like John. They were usually excited some twink wanted a bear like them. So what the hell was this guy’s problem?

  Travis had no idea, but he did know he’d paid fair and square. Though, honestly, the wound to his pride hurt more than the one to his bank account.

  Staff wearing tropical shirts and khaki shorts went about their business in the lobby, greeting guests, checking people in, and pushing luggage carts. He caught Jagger Castillo’s eye immediately. Talking with the concierge and two guests, Jagger raised a curious brow, maybe wondering why Travis wasn’t with his date.

  Yeah. You and me both.

  Prickling with shame and irritation, he waited, sort of patiently, while the concierge and Jagger talked and laughed with a pair of disgustingly happy newlyweds asking a million questions about a hundred different tourist traps they would never visit. Travis bit his tongue to keep from yelling at them to go the hell to their room and screw each other’s brains out like good honeymooners should.

  When the couple finally left, Travis advanced. “What the hell kinda scam are you running here?”

  “Please, Mr. Hunter, lower your voice.” Jagger raised an appeasing hand as he delivered a curt nod of dismissal to the concierge, who promptly left.

  Travis attempted to speak quietly around the sudden lump in his throat. “I’m sorry, but seriously, Jagger, what the hell?”

  The tall Cuban shook his head in confusion. “I don’t understand, Mr. Hunter. I thought you had plans for the evening.”

  He let out a derisive snort to hide his embarrassment. “Yeah. So did I.”

  “Please, let’s sort this out in my office.”

  Feeling helpless, Travis followed Jagger to an office, well-appointed with cherry furniture, tropical plants, and a three foot tall Wyland sculpture of frolicking sea turtles. Wide windows draped with gauzy curtains allowed the warm, salty air inside. The calm atmosphere did nothing to slow Travis’s racing heart.

  Jagger shut the door and came around to face him, his brow wrinkled with concern. “Now, Mr. Hunter, please tell me what happened? I spoke to Mr. Godfrey myself and he was looking forward to meeting you.”

  Travis sniffed in disgust then quickly explained how John had reacted.

  “I see.” Jagger tapped his chin thoughtfully.

  “Well, what are you gonna do about it?” Total humiliation almost brought him to angry tears.

  “I’m not sure. This is highly irregular. The couples from 1NightStand are usually more than satisfied with their matches. Madame Eve never makes mistakes.”

  Travis waved him off as he made a sudden decision. “I want his room number.”

  “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”

  Travis laughed hysterically. “What am I gonna do? Did you see the size of him?”

  “It’s not Mr. Godfrey I’m worried about.”

  Furiously, Travis brushed at his face, still feeling the inexplicable desire to cry. But no, he wouldn’t give that big jerk the satisfaction.

  “Let me call Madame Eve,” Jagger announced. “We will see what she suggests. And again, Mr. Hunter, I am truly surprised. This has never happened before.”

  Great, I’m the first to be rejected. Of course! Why would I ever deserve to get exactly what I wanted?

  Jagger dialed the phone and waited for a connection. It didn’t take long. “Good evening, Madame Eve. It’s Jagger, from Grand Turk.”

  “Tell her I want my money back.”

  Lightning fast, the Latino covered the receiver, looking highly offended. “I will do no such thing.”

  Travis rolled his eyes as Jagger recounted his rejection. It sounded even worse the second time around. Then the manager quieted, listening to Madame Eve on the other end. He looked up at Travis. “He wants Mr. Godfrey’s room number. What? I should? You do? Um…if you’re sure…um…yes, I understand. Thank you. Good night.”

  “Well?” Travis demanded when the nervous man set down the phone.

  “He’s in Suite 23 on the top floor.”

  “Thanks.” Travis turned to leave.

  “What are you going to do, Mr. Hunter?”

  Travis didn’t answer. Storming from the office, he headed directly to the elevators. He pushed the button for the top floor, trying not to be annoyed as the jazz version of Jimmy Buffet’s Come Monday surrounded him when the doors closed.

  Jagger posed a good question. What the hell did he plan to do? He’d done his time as a sub and found it horribly humiliating, so begging was out of the question. However, he did have one question he wanted answered.

  Why?

  Chapter Four

  John thought about breaking into the free booze in his room but a knock on the door stopped him. Still wearing damp swim trunks, he went to answer it. Without checking the peephole, he threw open the door.

  Travis.

  John couldn’t speak. Damn, if the kid wasn’t even better looking than he recalled. Cropped dark hair, disheveled on top from the island breeze. Black lashes fringed his lightning blue eyes, causing them to pop on his fair skin. His nose, ears and the top of his forehead had been slightly sunburned, making him look even younger—and more adorable. A faint hint of sunblock and sweat lingered about him, heating John’s stomach instantly. His presence filled John with a twinge of hopeful possibility.

  “Are you going to invite me in, or shall we discuss this in the hallway?” Travis had a strong, confident voice. A litigator’s voice. His handsome, youthful face pursed in a scowl, brought John out of his musings.

  He stepped aside and Travis brushed passed him into the suite. Not as short as John had originally believed, he only sat short because for a guy his size, he had long legs, bringing the top of his head below John’s collarbone. One thing he hadn’t been wrong about, however, the man—no, boy, he couldn’t forget that—was half his size.

  Every inch of the ki
d’s slender frame appeared taut with agitation. John supposed he wanted to vent about 1NightStand, figure out how they could get their money back. He fought down a pang of disappointment, because for a flash, he’d hoped Travis came because of him.

  Yeah, not likely. No way would Travis ever be interested in some old guy who’s gone soft in the middle.

  “Look, I’m not here to beg, so don’t worry,” Travis began, whirling to glower up at him. “I just wanna know why?”

  John shrugged, nervously raking his fingers through his hair to work out any tangles. “Obviously the service pairs men whose vacations line up.”

  The guy positively vibrated irritation. “What?”

  He reached out to calm him and Travis flinched. Bunching his large hands at his side, John wished he wasn’t so damn big and imposing. He needed to calm the kid, not scare him. “Look, I feel really bad, but there are a lot of schemers out there. It’s a life lesson I guess you had to learn the hard way. But hey, cut yourself some slack. I’m forty-two, and I fell into Madame Eve’s scam, too.”

  “What scam? What are you talking about?”

  John quirked a brow. How many of those fruity drinks had the boy been drinking before John showed up? “I mean 1NightStand. How they tricked us.”

  He shook his head in confusion. “In what way?’

  John gestured down at his furry chest then to Travis’s lean, muscular form, trying to be lighthearted. “Have you looked in the mirror, boy?”

  “I’m not a boy.” He threw out a defiant chin which looked ten kinds of adorable. No, he wouldn’t go there.

  To reinforce how wrong wanting Travis was, he asked, “How old are you?”

  “Twenty-five.”

  “Jesus.” John sighed and ran frustrated fingers over his scalp, letting the damp strands slap his back. “I’m almost old enough to be your father.”

  “What’s that got to do with anything?”

  John decided to go for blunt. It always worked for him in the courtroom. “You’re too young and too small. I’d break your heart and break you in half.”

  The guy actually cracked a smile that went straight to John’s gut. “I can take care of myself.”

  He sighed wearily. Was the kid that hard-up? Didn’t he own a mirror? John would kill to have a guy like him. But like he told Madame Eve, the sum of the two parts didn’t add up.

  “Look, Travis, I’m sorry, but I specifically asked for a guy close to my age and build, with dark hair.” The moment the words left his mouth, the image of Kurt danced through his mind. His stomach dropped.

  John had asked for someone exactly like his dead partner.

  He hastily pushed the thought away, afraid of what it might mean. “I’m sure you won’t have any trouble finding someone else. Neither of us got what we wanted, but you shouldn’t let it ruin your vacation.”

  A strange expression crossed Travis’s face. “Oh, I see.”

  Before John could decipher the look, Travis turned to go. He fought the impulse to stop him. It was for the best.

  So why did watching him leave make John feel so empty inside?

  Travis paused, his hand on the doorknob. He turned those piercing blue eyes on John and a visceral reaction shot through his body like an electric shock. He had to swallow a few times merely to breathe.

  “I’m sorry this didn’t work out for you,” Travis said softly. “But for the record, I got exactly what I asked for.”

  Chapter Five

  A large hand reached out and rested on his shoulder. Travis could smell the chlorinated pool water but underneath, the heady aroma of man.

  A man who didn’t want him.

  “Excuse me?” that deep-timbred voice said. “What did you say?”

  Trying to disguise the tremor, Travis repeated himself. “I said I got exactly what I asked for.”

  That large hand—the one he’d pictured roaming all over his body with deep appreciation—turned him around. The sheer mass of half-naked muscle before him turned his knees to jelly. Though John had rejected him, all of a sudden Travis couldn’t help but rethink his ban on begging.

  “Why?” John stared at him with the incredulous look of someone who had no idea how beautiful he was. “Why would someone like you want someone like me?”

  Travis let out a chuckle. John asked the question he’d never really been able to answer. How can you have the hots for hairy old men? He’d tired himself out trying to get his friends to understand the security and warmth older men represented. How awesome it felt to be dwarfed by a lover. They didn’t get it and never would because Travis never planned to tell them the real reason. That deep in his heart, he wanted a protector. Someone he could wholeheartedly trust to take care of him.

  Spending most of his life bouncing from one foster home to the next, good grades and hard work had pulled him out of the life of poverty he’d been destined for. With the bar exam completed, he’d finally made something of his life. Sure, being small and gay, people naturally treated him like a pussy, forcing him to fight constantly to prove otherwise in new situations. So how could he admit he desperately wanted someone to take care of him for a change? What kind of lawyer would that make him? Who wanted to admit to being so needy and pathetic?

  Staring up into John’s inviting, hazel eyes, feeling the warm, reassuring touch of the massive hand still on his shoulder, Travis knew he had to try a little bit harder to make him understand. Not because he wanted to prove himself, but because he’d observed something sad and insecure in John’s expression he wanted to erase. The same self-doubt he saw when he looked at his own reflection. While making no sense at all, it stabbed Travis deep in his soul.

  He didn’t dare meet John’s gaze when he answered, though. “It’s hard to explain, but I’ve always been attracted to older men. Real men. Hairy men,” he added with a shy chuckle. “Someone big enough to take charge so I can just enjoy the ride. It makes me feel safe…loved.”

  Heat surged up his neck. He’d sounded even more pathetic than he’d meant to. He risked a glance up at John. Through half-lowered eyelashes, he watched John’s mouth gape in surprise. Squirming with embarrassment, Travis made to leave. The hand on his shoulder tightened.

  “Stay,” John whispered. “Please?”

  Travis looked up in question, unsure he heard him correctly.

  The entire world stopped when John’s lips connected with his.

  Lightning raced down his back and he moaned into the unexpected contact. Prodding open Travis’s lips with his own, John kissed him with a gentleness such a powerful man should not possess. His goatee scratched and teased Travis’s cheeks and chin even as the wet slick of his tongue slid over his lower lip. Before he could steady himself on those huge arms, John pulled him closer, his body still damp from the swimming pool. When his giant frame thoroughly encased his smaller one, the tentative kiss changed.

  John plunged his tongue in possessively, smashing their mouths together, too. Travis went weak in the knees in an instant. Good Lord, did he know how to kiss!

  John’s thumb opened Travis’s mouth further, exploring every inch of wet, leaving nothing untouched. Frissons of desire swept out from his core to tease the extremities of his body. He slipped his tongue out to meet John’s and the big man sucked it all the way into his mouth with such force, Travis couldn’t wait to know what that mouth could do to his cock.

  Maybe the hint of beer still on John’s tongue or the two mojitos were responsible for Travis’s sudden sense of drunkenness. He thought he might pass out yet John supported him completely, effortlessly, arms coiled tight about his shoulders and waist as if he were unspeakably precious. He would not let him fall.

  A strong hand gripped his ass and drew him higher until their groins touched, causing more fire to burn in his veins. When John’s other hand roamed up Travis’s back his thumb caught the hem of his shirt, calloused fingertips grazing his bare flesh. John nibbled the place on his neck where his pulse throbbed, then sucked on his earlobe, sendin
g a shock straight to his balls.

  Travis didn’t consider that only moments ago John had rejected him. He only cared that this gentle giant had finally kissed him. His cock ached, separated from John only by swim trunks. Long, sandy locks brushed over his cheeks and he resisted the urge to grab a handful and draw his mouth closer. Wrapping his arms around John’s neck, he coiled his hands in his hair, inhaling the aroma of chlorine and man.

  He drew John’s lower lip between his teeth and bit gently. Growling, John clutched his bottom harder and ground their pelvises together. His skin burst to life with feeling, every synapse responding wildly from the fiery hardness of John’s manhood mercilessly dry humping him. He whimpered, desperate for him to stop yet needing him to continue. Just when he thought the delicious friction would make him come, John released him and set him on his feet.

  “Damn,” Travis breathed, still clinging to those broad, hairy shoulders. His skin throbbed everywhere and his head spun. Pre-cum had soaked his bathing suit front and he didn’t know how he managed not to rub his dick against John again.

  Chuckling, John kissed his neck, down his throat and back up again, his wet lips tickling slightly. “You like that, eh?”

  “Mmm-hmm.”

  Travis slid his fingers boldly over John’s biceps, exploring the masculine contours of his torso. Needing more, he brushed his cheek across John’s expansive chest, relishing the sensation of hair teasing his skin, memorizing the scent of his soon to be lover’s body.

  Travis added his mouth to the exploration, kissing ever so lightly. John’s breathing became rough, his chest rising and falling. The prickle of chest hairs on Travis’s lips as he slowly ran his mouth back and forth with the barest touch stimulated a million tiny pinpoints of nerve endings attached right to his dick. Closing his lips, he pulled on a few hairs, drawing a hiss from John. Travis released him and moved toward a hard brown nipple. But he didn’t kiss it, rather, he paused, hoping his hot breaths drove John crazy with anticipation before he licked a wet line into the hair.